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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2435 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,597

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,597

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Trending via YouTube:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Going viral on Facebook:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Seen just now on Telegram:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Just landed via Instagram:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Going viral on Discord:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Spotted on Discord:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2435 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,597

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,597

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,467

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Going viral on Telegram:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Going viral on Discord:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Just landed via Slack:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Live now on WeChat:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Trending via Slack:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Making waves on Threads:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Making waves on Facebook:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Reported on Telegram:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

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