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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Just landed via X:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Trending via Facebook:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Live now on Instagram:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Just shared via Pinterest:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Just shared via Messenger:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Just landed via Facebook:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Shared recently on Threads:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Seen just now on Slack:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Making waves on TikTok:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Going viral on YouTube:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Shared recently on Threads:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

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