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89 Funny funny observation quotes

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

3 months ago

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

3 months ago

How is it still this week?

3 months ago

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

3 months ago

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

3 months ago

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

3 months ago

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

3 months ago

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

3 months ago

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

3 months ago