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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Just shared via Discord:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Spotted on Messenger:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I have good problem solving skills, but my problem creating skills are where I really shine.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Trending via Messenger:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Making waves on X:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Spotted on Reddit:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Seen just now on Discord:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Reported on Discord:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Just landed via TikTok:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

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