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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Guy who thinks “generational trauma” means it’s like the goat of trauma.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,578

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Going viral on Reddit:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Trending via Messenger:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Seen just now on Telegram:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Going viral on Threads:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Going viral on YouTube:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Funny household appliance quotes

New funny household appliance quotes 👇

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

4 weeks ago

another, appliance, dimension, household, household appliance, humor, laundry, laundry humor, machine, missing, missing socks, portal, sock, socks, washing, washing machine

All funny household appliance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on X this month:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Just landed via Slack:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Spotted on YouTube:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Making waves on TikTok:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Going bananas on TikTok:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Breaking via X:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Trending via Slack:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny household appliance quotes

New funny household appliance quotes 👇

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

All funny household appliance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨