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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,585

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Going viral on Threads:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Dear music, thanks!

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Just shared via Messenger:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Broadcasted on Discord:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Spotted on Facebook:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Funny John the Baptist quotes

New funny John the Baptist quotes 👇

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

22 hours ago

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All funny John the Baptist quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Threads this month:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Is there a job where I can lay on the floor and listen to music?

25 shares on Slack this month:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

58 shares on Threads this month:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

44 shares on Threads this month:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

72 shares on X this month:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Trending via TikTok:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Trending via TikTok:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Going viral on Facebook:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Making waves on YouTube:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

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Funny John the Baptist quotes

New funny John the Baptist quotes 👇

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

All funny John the Baptist quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨