Funny kitchen counter quotes

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!