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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Spotted on Facebook:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Making waves on Slack:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Live now on Reddit:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Just shared via Discord:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Going viral on X:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Just landed via TikTok:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

You wish you had this many chins.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Going viral on Facebook:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Spotted on Facebook:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Spotted on Twitch:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Seen just now on YouTube:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Live now on Reddit:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Just shared via Twitch:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Going viral on Reddit:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

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