Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,294

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Broadcasted on Slack:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Spotted on X:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Going viral on Instagram:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Live now on Messenger:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Live now on Instagram:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Funny Marlboros quotes

Funny Marlboros quotes light up the room with a puff of humor and a dash of attitude! 😄🚬 Whether you’re a fan of clever wordplay or just love a good laugh, these witty lines bring a playful twist to the classic Marlboro vibe. Ready to spark some smiles and ignite your day with a bit of smoky sass? Let’s dive into the funniest Marlboro moments that’ll have you chuckling in no time! 🔥😂

New funny Marlboros quotes 👇

All funny Marlboros quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Threads this month:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

66 shares on X this month:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

30 shares on X this month:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

99 shares on X this month:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,355

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Live now on Pinterest:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Making waves on Instagram:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Going viral on Facebook:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Shared recently on Threads:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Trending via Slack:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Live now on Twitch:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

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