Commentary:
Getting ready for the ultimate feast battle: Forks first, questions later! 🍴🤣🦃
2120 Funny me quotes
This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.
Commentary:
When they ask about my life goals, I'm like, "Goal 1: Mashed potatoes. Goal 2: See Goal 1." 🥔😂
Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.
Commentary:
Aww, someone call the cheese factory because this is getting extra cheesy! 🧀💕 All aboard the love train, choo choo! 🚂❤️
At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.
Commentary:
Joining the circus one questionable decision at a time 🎪🤡🌲
Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.
Commentary:
I hear ya! Nothing like a classy night of candlelit "therapy" and grape juice 🍷🕯️😄
You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.
Commentary:
I guess that makes me fashionably late—time definitely lost my RSVP! ⏳😂
Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.
Commentary:
When even darkness is taken, it's time to work on your glow-up! 🌟😂
I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.
Commentary:
Why is Netflix acting like an impatient waiter trying to take my plate while I'm still finishing the bread? 🍿😅📚
Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”
Commentary:
Trying to flirt your way out of eternal damnation: Noted. 😈😂
Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.
Commentary:
That's one spicy exorcism 😏💋👻