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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Spotted on TikTok:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Just landed via Messenger:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Just shared via Facebook:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Just shared via TikTok:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Seen just now on Facebook:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Trending via TikTok:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Going viral on Threads:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Just landed via YouTube:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Seen just now on Messenger:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Freshly posted on Threads:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Seen just now on X:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

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