Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,527

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Trending via YouTube:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Broadcasted on X:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Going viral on Facebook:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Trending via X:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Funny melt quotes

Funny melt quotes bring the perfect blend of laughs and heartwarming moments that make you smile from the inside out 😄💖 Whether you’re feeling all mushy or just need a good chuckle, these witty gems will melt away your worries like butter on a hot pan 🧈🔥 Get ready to giggle and swoon in the best way possible!

New funny melt quotes 👇

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

2 months ago

cube, humor, i, ice, ice cube, joke, just, melt, patience, staring, talent
This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

2 months ago

enthusiasm, humor, melt, own, procrastination, seasonal, shoveling, snow, time, weather, where, winter, year

All funny melt quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

56 shares on Discord this month:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

12 shares on X this month:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

15 shares on X this month:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,732

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

The amount of water you actually need to drink to be hydrated is so obscene. Who does this body think it is? A data center?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Thoughts & prayers to all of us back at work tomorrow after the colossal mistake of thinking we’d be lads of leisure forever, for some reason.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Spotted on Telegram:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Freshly posted on Discord:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Trending via Snapchat:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Trending via Pinterest:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

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