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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Making waves on Pinterest:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Going viral on TikTok:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Just landed via Facebook:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Breaking via Threads:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Just landed via Messenger:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Funny minimum wage quotes

New funny minimum wage quotes 👇

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

3 weeks ago

cost, cost of living, economy, expensive, food, food price, humor, i, inflation, irony, just, living, love, minimum, minimum wage, policy, price, raise, wage, wage policy

All funny minimum wage quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

55 shares on Threads this month:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

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Funny minimum wage quotes

New funny minimum wage quotes 👇

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

All funny minimum wage quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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