Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,630

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Going viral on Messenger:

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

Spotted on Slack:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Going viral on YouTube:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Making waves on Discord:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Seen just now on WeChat:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

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New funny moving in quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

47 shares on Discord this month:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

25 shares on Slack this month:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

31 shares on X this month:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

43 shares on Slack this month:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

That fight could’ve been an email.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Making waves on Facebook:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Just landed via X:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Spotted on Telegram:

They’re calling me the unemployee of the month.

Just landed via Reddit:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Going viral on Facebook:

Being a reader means voluntarily signing up for fictional heartbreak, and then recommending the pain to others.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Going viral on Threads:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Shared recently on X:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

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