Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,487

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Seen just now on Discord:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Shared recently on Messenger:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Just landed via Slack:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Trending via Threads:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Just landed via Telegram:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Funny new phase quotes

New funny new phase quotes 👇

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

0

2 months ago

am, emotionally, hibernation, i, life, mentally, new, new phase, phase, physically, ready

Someone from 🇧🇮 has recently copied this quote.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month.

All funny new phase quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Twitch this month:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

95 shares on Discord this month:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Just landed via Twitch:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Just shared via Slack:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Breaking via Reddit:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Going bananas on Instagram:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

Making waves on Telegram:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Going viral on Threads:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny new phase quotes

New funny new phase quotes 👇

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

All funny new phase quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨