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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Just landed via Slack:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Broadcasted on Discord:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Freshly posted on X:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Spotted on Slack:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Trending via Pinterest:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Live now on Twitch:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Breaking via Messenger:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Live now on Instagram:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Going viral on YouTube:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Just landed via Facebook:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Going viral on TikTok:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Going viral on Instagram:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Just shared via Threads:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Making waves on X:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Just shared via X:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

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