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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Trending via Threads:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Just landed via Snapchat:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Broadcasted on Threads:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Just landed via Facebook:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Just landed via Messenger:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Just landed via Instagram:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Just landed via YouTube:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Spotted on Reddit:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Making waves on Messenger:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Just landed via Facebook:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Shared recently on Slack:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Just shared via TikTok:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Just shared via Reddit:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Just landed via Messenger:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

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