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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

3,749

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Seen just now on Discord:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Breaking via Slack:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Just landed via Pinterest:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Making waves on Threads:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Home » Funny Platonic Quotes

Funny platonic quotes

New funny platonic quotes 👇

3 weeks ago

Commentary:
"Who needs a significant other when you've got a platonic spouse to share all the drama and laughter? 💁‍♂️👯‍♀️ #BestieGoals #PlatonicLoveStory"

bestie, friendship, girl, humor, platonic, relationship, wife

All funny platonic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

3,784

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Going viral on TikTok:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Just landed via Telegram:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Making waves on Slack:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Making waves on Threads:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Just shared via TikTok:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

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