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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,059

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Making waves on Messenger:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Making waves on YouTube:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Instagram this month:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

66 shares on Slack this month:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

I miss you (the money I spent).

82 shares on YouTube this month:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

93 shares on Slack this month:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Spreading quickly via X:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Trending via WeChat:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Making waves on Twitch:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

101 Funny read quotes

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Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

All funny read quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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