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172 Funny relationships quotes

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Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.
The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.
I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.
To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.
If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

More funny relationships quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Commentary:
"Who needs a white noise machine when you've got me around? 🛌😴 But hey, if you can't handle the symphony of my sleep, you don't get a front-row seat to my morning opera! 🎶😉 #SnoreAndRoar"
5 months ago
Share →: Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Commentary:
"Facebook friends are like pens. 🖊️ Some are sparkly gel pens that write profound status updates, while others are just plain BIC pens collecting dust in the drawer. ✨ Choose your writing companions wisely! 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: Socks try to be monogamous but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Commentary:
"Ah, the scandalous love lives of socks – trying to keep it together in pairs but ending up in a tangled web of singledom or polyamory! 🧦💔🧦💕 Keep your toes warm and your relationships spicy, folks!"
5 months ago
Share →: Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Commentary:
Looks like wishing for the day your colleagues actually deserve might not always be appreciated! 🤣 Maybe a simple "Have a great day" could save you from making enemies at work. Lesson learned! 😉 #OfficeHumor
5 months ago
Share →: The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Commentary:
Looks like the title of "Official House Annoyer" goes to the little one from the mother-in-law's side! 🏆👶 Just when you thought mother-in-law jokes couldn't get any better, the universe decides to up the ante with a mischievous toddler in the mix! 🤣 #FamilyDrama #ToddlerTrouble
5 months ago
Share →: Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Commentary:
"Sorry, no threesomes here! If I wanted to let two people down, I'd just have dinner with my parents instead. 🤷‍♂️🚫 #ParentalDisappointmentWins"
5 months ago
Share →: I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Commentary:
"Looks like this person's nude game is so strong, they're a one-hit wonder! 📷😄 No need for an encore when you nail it on the first try! 💁‍♂️👌"
5 months ago
Share →: All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Commentary:
"Ah, the bittersweet symphony of human interaction 🤷‍♂️ Some bring sunshine and rainbows ☀️🌈 while others bring bonus points for stealthy exits 🚪🏃‍♂️. It's a mixed bag of emotions and surprises! 😄 #PeopleAreFun"
5 months ago
Share →: Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma of wanting to enjoy the fun without the commitment! 🙈 Flirting is like the appetizer of relationships – deliciously tempting yet no main course in sight. 🍸 Who needs the hassle of dating when you've got charm and wit on your side, am I right? 😉 #FlirtAlert"
5 months ago
Share →: A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Commentary:
"Introducing Hinder: where swiping left on potential matches is just the beginning of your love life obstacles! 🙅‍♂️ Stay tuned for dates canceled last minute, mixed signals galore, and emotional rollercoasters! 🎢 Who needs a smooth sailing romance anyway, am I right? 😉 #SelfSabotageGoals"