Funny quotes remark

12 Funny remark quotes

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

1 month ago

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

1 month ago

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

2 months ago

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

3 months ago

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

3 months ago

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

3 months ago

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

3 months ago

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

3 months ago

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

3 months ago

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

3 months ago

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

3 months ago

You wish you had this many chins.

3 months ago