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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I had too much to think last night.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Making waves on WeChat:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Breaking via X:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Seen just now on X:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Trending via Slack:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Going bananas on YouTube:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Funny rental company quotes

New funny rental company quotes 👇

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

0

5 months ago

airport, car, caught, company, customer, customer service, frustration, guard, hand, humor, job, me, rental, rental car, rental company, reservation, sarcasm, service, show, sorry, wait, wanted

All funny rental company quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

19 shares on Slack this month:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

77 shares on Threads this month:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

39 shares on Slack this month:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Spotted on WeChat:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

Making waves on Reddit:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

Making waves on YouTube:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Going viral on X:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Trending via Facebook:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Shared recently on Slack:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Just shared via Reddit:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Going viral on YouTube:

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny rental company quotes

New funny rental company quotes 👇

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

All funny rental company quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨