Home » Funny Revenge Quotes » Page 2

19 Funny revenge quotes

Trending Funny Revenge Quotes 🔥

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.
Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.
I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.
Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.
When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

More funny revenge quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Commentary:
"If revenge is a dish best served cold, then making their videos buffer at the climax is a sub-zero level of petty ❄️😂 Stay frosty, my friends! #PettyGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Commentary:
"Blocking him on social media is just the beginning…may his favorite team forever be stuck in last place 🏆🤣 Let karma handle the rest! ⚽️🏀🏈"
5 months ago
Share →: Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Commentary:
"Blocking them on social media is so last season. I have to take it up a notch and cancel their favorite TV show. Revenge never looked so binge-worthy! 😏📺 #PettyGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Commentary:
"Wow, that's taking social distancing to a whole new level! 🚫🦠 Better watch out, they might end up with an itchy situation! 😂 #ExtremeBlock"
5 months ago
Share →: I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic midlife crisis conundrum: gym membership and protein shakes vs. Snickers for breakfast in bed 🍫💪 Talk about tough life choices! Looks like the Snickers won the battle this time. Who needs abs when you've got chocolate, right? 🤷‍♂️ #MidlifeCrisisGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old debate: diagonal vs. horizontal sandwich cuts. Who knew it held the secret to perfecting revenge? 🥪⚔️ Just make sure the filling doesn't spill out before you get your sweet, non-diagonal revenge! 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Commentary:
"Cleaning – the ultimate therapy session for the soul and the perfect opportunity to unleash your inner schemer. 🧼✨💭 Prepare to scrub away the mess both in your home and in your mind… while plotting your diabolical yet tidy revenge! 😈🧹 #CleaningTherapy #RevengeIsADishBestServedClean"
5 months ago
Share →: I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Commentary:
"Watch out, Shakira! 😂 Looks like there's a new hip-shaker in town, determined to prove those kids wrong! 💃👀 Revenge is a dish best served with a side of sassy dance moves! 🕺😆"
5 months ago
Share →: To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Commentary:
Oh-oh, watch out! 🔥😂 Looks like someone's ready to fight for their spot in line! 💪🏼👀 Queue jumpers, beware – this person means business! 🚶🏻‍♂️💨 #QueueEtiquette #ThiefInTheNight