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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Just shared via Slack:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Just shared via Instagram:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Seen just now on Slack:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Just landed via Threads:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Just shared via TikTok:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Seen just now on Instagram:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Funny savings account quotes

New funny savings account quotes 👇

All funny savings account quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on YouTube this month:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

25 shares on Messenger this month:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

79 shares on X this month:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,588

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Shared recently on Slack:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Making waves on TikTok:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Just shared via TikTok:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Spotted on X:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

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