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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Shared recently on Threads:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Just landed via Messenger:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Just shared via Messenger:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Live now on WeChat:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

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Funny secret club quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,997

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Just landed via X:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Spotted on Facebook:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Breaking via X:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Making waves on Instagram:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

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