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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,545

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,545

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Making waves on Reddit:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

Broadcasted on Threads:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Spotted on Threads:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Making waves on WeChat:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Going viral on Slack:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Just shared via Threads:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Home » Funny Self-interest Quotes

Funny self-interest quotes

Funny self-interest quotes are the perfect way to laugh at our lovable quirks while celebrating a little healthy selfishness 😜✨ Whether you’re embracing me-time or just poking fun at your own priorities, these witty lines bring a smile and a wink 🤪💡 Get ready to chuckle and maybe even relate a bit too much—because sometimes, putting yourself first is the funniest thing you can do! 😂🙌

New funny self-interest quotes 👇

All funny self-interest quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,545

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,545

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,574

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Shared recently on Discord:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Going viral on X:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Just landed via WeChat:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Just shared via Messenger:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Making waves on WeChat:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

Spotted on Threads:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

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