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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,932

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Live now on Threads:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Making waves on Discord:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

Making waves on YouTube:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

Home » Funny Self-interest Quotes

Funny self-interest quotes

Funny self-interest quotes are the perfect way to laugh at our lovable quirks while celebrating a little healthy selfishness 😜✨ Whether you’re embracing me-time or just poking fun at your own priorities, these witty lines bring a smile and a wink 🤪💡 Get ready to chuckle and maybe even relate a bit too much—because sometimes, putting yourself first is the funniest thing you can do! 😂🙌

New funny self-interest quotes 👇

All funny self-interest quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,611

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Live now on Telegram:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Spotted on Instagram:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Spotted on Twitch:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

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