Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Fun fact: sexual tension is more fun than the sex itself.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,374

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Just shared via Threads:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Live now on Threads:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Making waves on X:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

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New funny Señor quotes 👇

All funny Señor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Messenger this month:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

64 shares on Reddit this month:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Work is the worst video game ever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,544

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Trending via TikTok:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Just shared via Discord:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Live now on YouTube:

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Breaking via Instagram:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Shared recently on Slack:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Freshly posted on Slack:

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Trending via Slack:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

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