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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,294

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Going viral on Reddit:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Live now on YouTube:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Shared recently on Slack:

Less talkie. More kissie.

Just landed via X:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Funny shivering quotes

New funny shivering quotes 👇

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

4 weeks ago

cause, cold, humor, jacket, paper, paper towel, Shein, shivering, towel, towels

All funny shivering quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Telegram this month:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

75 shares on Slack this month:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I think my type is a nice person.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Spotted on Instagram:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Shared recently on Reddit:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Trending via Discord:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Just landed via Discord:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Making waves on Discord:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Just shared via Discord:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Just shared via Reddit:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Live now on Twitch:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny shivering quotes

New funny shivering quotes 👇

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

All funny shivering quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨