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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2270 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,432

Funny Quotes Topics

15,133

Funny Quotes Images

12,432

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Making waves on WeChat:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Making waves on Twitch:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I would like even faster food.

Just shared via Discord:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Breaking via Telegram:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2270 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,432

Funny Quotes Topics

15,133

Funny Quotes Images

12,432

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Making waves on WeChat:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Live now on WeChat:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Spotted on Pinterest:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Spotted on Twitch:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

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