Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,745

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Just shared via YouTube:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Making waves on Slack:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Just shared via Messenger:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Going viral on TikTok:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Just shared via Messenger:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Funny stressful event quotes

New funny stressful event quotes 👇

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

2 weeks ago

event, experience, experiences, human, human experience, moving, relocation, stressful, stressful event, worst, worst experience

All funny stressful event quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on TikTok this month:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

96 shares on Threads this month:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

61 shares on X this month:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

46 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Making waves on Messenger:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Just shared via X:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Shared recently on X:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Shared recently on X:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny stressful event quotes

New funny stressful event quotes 👇

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

All funny stressful event quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨