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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Going viral on WeChat:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Just landed via Twitch:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Trending via Facebook:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Breaking via Discord:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Just shared via Messenger:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Seen just now on Slack:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Going viral on Discord:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Breaking via X:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Trending via Threads:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Going viral on Telegram:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Going viral on Instagram:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

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