Funny throwing elbow quotes

86 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

94 shares on Slack this month:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”