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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I am thick and tired.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

49 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Going viral on Instagram:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Going viral on Twitch:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Breaking via Slack:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Live now on Snapchat:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Just shared via Slack:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Going viral on TikTok:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Home » Funny Two Minutes Quotes

Funny two minutes quotes

New funny two minutes quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Commentary:
"Facing your fears is all fun and games until you misplace your wallet for those intense two minutes of panic! 🤣💸 #WalletDrama"

For even more funny two minutes quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny two minutes quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

49 minutes ago

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Being awake is the worst.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Live now on Reddit:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Live now on WhatsApp:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Trending via Pinterest:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Spotted on Telegram:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Spotted on YouTube:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

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