Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,468

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Spotted on YouTube:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Shared recently on X:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Making waves on YouTube:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Breaking via Reddit:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Funny ugly person quotes

New funny ugly person quotes 👇

All funny ugly person quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

84 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

16 shares on Facebook this month:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,551

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Trending via Discord:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Just shared via YouTube:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Shared recently on Slack:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Spotted on X:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

Making waves on WeChat:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴