Funny velvet quotes

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.