338 funny where quotes - Page 7 - Wordgag

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

May 22, 2026

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

May 22, 2026

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

May 22, 2026

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

May 22, 2026

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

May 22, 2026

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

May 22, 2026

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

May 22, 2026

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

May 22, 2026

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

May 22, 2026

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

May 22, 2026

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

May 22, 2026

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

May 22, 2026

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

May 22, 2026

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

May 22, 2026

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

May 22, 2026

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

May 22, 2026

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

May 22, 2026

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

May 22, 2026

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

May 22, 2026

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

May 22, 2026

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

May 22, 2026

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

May 22, 2026

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

May 22, 2026

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

May 22, 2026

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

May 22, 2026

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

May 22, 2026

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

May 22, 2026

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

May 22, 2026

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

May 22, 2026

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

May 22, 2026

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

May 22, 2026

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

May 22, 2026

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

May 22, 2026

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

May 22, 2026

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

May 22, 2026

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

May 21, 2026

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

May 21, 2026

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

May 21, 2026

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

May 21, 2026

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

May 21, 2026