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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,301

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Just shared via Telegram:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Going viral on TikTok:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Breaking via Discord:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, we are setting some legendary precedents for the history books! Future generations will be like 'Remember that time they precedented the heck out of everything?' 📚👀 Let's hope they appreciate our unprecedented dedication to being precedent-setters!"

change, everything, future, generations, hell, humor, irony, live, never, precedenting, right, society, times, unprecedented

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Slack this month:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

41 shares on Discord this month:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

78 shares on X this month:

Never trust a wet fart.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

71 shares on Slack this month:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

55 shares on X this month:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,325

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, when you go with the flow you end up drowning with everyone else.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Spotted on YouTube:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Going bananas on Facebook:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Freshly posted on Discord:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Breaking via Slack:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Trending via X:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

Spotted on Slack:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Shared recently on X:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

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