Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.
  • I have this rare skin disease called perfect.
  • My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.
  • The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.
  • Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.
  • Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.