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I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

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Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

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Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

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This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

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I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

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Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

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I don’t understand, but I also don’t care, so it works out.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.