Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,615

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Trending via Slack:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Trending via WeChat:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Just landed via Messenger:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Just landed via Facebook:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Just landed via Threads:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Making waves on Twitch:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Just landed via Instagram:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

3 weeks ago

Humorous text comparing going viral on X to winning the lottery in chaos.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Getting your content to go viral on X is like stumbling upon a winning lotto ticket in the midst of a zombie apocalypse! 🎰💥 Just when you thought all hope was lost, you've hit the social media jackpot… Try not to get bitten by the clickbait zombies! 🧟‍♂️😂"

apocalypse, lottery, social media, Twitter, viral

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on WeChat this month:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

56 shares on X this month:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,345

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I can’t be the only one who screenshots confirmations, even though you’ll get an email and text.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Just landed via WeChat:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Going bananas on Threads:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Going bananas on Facebook:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Just landed via Reddit:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Breaking via Reddit:

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴