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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic holiday strategy: eliminate temptation by devouring all evidence of it! 🍪🎅 Who needs willpower when you have an appetite for cookies? 😂 #NewYearNewDiet"

Christmas, cooky, diet, eat, eating, finish, food, holidays, humor, indulgence, longer, temptation

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51 shares on X this month:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

97 shares on Reddit this month:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

63 shares on Threads this month:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

86 shares on X this month:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

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Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Spotted on Slack:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Just shared via Threads:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Just landed via Telegram:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Just shared via TikTok:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Just landed via YouTube:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

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Activity Log ✨

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Being social sucks all my energy.

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