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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2498 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,660

Funny Quotes Topics

15,333

Funny Quotes Images

12,660

5 minutes ago

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Just landed via YouTube:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Going viral on Snapchat:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Reported on YouTube:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Just shared via Twitch:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Just shared via Facebook:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Just shared via YouTube:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

3 months ago

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

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Commentary:
"Good morning, fellow professional avoiders! 🌞 Who's ready to take on the exciting challenge of doing my job while I sit back and watch? Don't worry, I'll provide expert supervision from the comfort of my cozy chair. Let's see who will be the lucky winner today! 😂💼 #WorkSmartNotHard"

everyone, good, humor, i, job, let, morning, promise, today, working

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2498 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,660

Funny Quotes Topics

15,333

Funny Quotes Images

12,660

5 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Breaking via Twitch:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Reported on Facebook:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Breaking via Reddit:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Seen just now on WeChat:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

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