Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Living the royal life with that king-sized bed like Rose hogging that door in Titanic! 👑🛏️ Who needs a Jack when you can spread out like a queen! 😂 #queenofmybed #royaltreatment"

bed, door, night, rose, Titanic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

0

3 days ago

commenter, culture, hacker, Hacker News, humor, i, internet, internet culture, joy, life, never, news, read, thread, where
Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

0

2 months ago

away, before, break, breaking, cook, cooking, food, half, humor, i, italian, joke, kitchen, pasta, spaghetti, tradition
Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

0

5 months ago

birthday, breakup, ex, humor, idea, love, loving, manipulation, manipulative, me, only, sarcasm, text, thank
I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

0

2 months ago

angry, angry coffee, asked, barista, coffee, drink, espresso, forgetfulness, forgot, humor, i, smaller, smaller drink, word
People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

0

2 months ago

communication, confidence, God, humor, information, people, relationship, sex, sex god, tell, want
Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

0

2 months ago

ahead, bar, bar culture, bartender, culture, drinks, humor, put, receipt, service, wet

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Threads this month:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

95 shares on Slack this month:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

10 shares on Threads this month:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Going viral on Messenger:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Spotted on TikTok:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Seen just now on WeChat:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Spotted on TikTok:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Just landed via Discord:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Trending via Discord:

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨