Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

39 shares on Discord this month:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

70 shares on Twitch this month:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.