Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.
  • Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.
  • My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.
  • We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.
  • Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.
  • When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.