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Commentary:
"Has anyone checked the statistics on 'Food Decision Paralysis' fatalities? 🤔💀 It's a risky business, folks! Remember, a well-fed group is a happy group…or at least a group that's too busy eating to argue! 🍔🍕🌮 #TheStruggleIsReal"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

1 month ago

digestion, enjoy, gut, gut health, health, health joke, health rant, humor, joke, just, kombucha, lighthearted, need, rant, wellness
Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

5 months ago

bribe, cat, give, humor, ID, just, meow, meowing, money, pet, stop, told
I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

1 month ago

age, am, back, daily, daily habit, day, every, front, habit, humor, i, newspaper, old, read, reading, single
Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

2 months ago

again, dislike, divorce, getting, give, going, house, humor, i, love, marriage, married, relationship, sarcasm, woman
Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

1 month ago

activity, fun, fun activity, humor, outdoor, outdoor fun, sex, snow, winter, wintercourse
Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

2 months ago

female, female rage, frustration, handbag, humor, rage, shoulder, slipping

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

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For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

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Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

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Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

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People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Breaking via Slack:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Just shared via Slack:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Freshly posted on X:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

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Activity Log ✨

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Reincarnation, in this economy?

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

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Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

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