Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

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We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

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A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

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A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

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Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

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Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

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Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

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You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

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Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

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If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.