Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Oh, anxiety just can't resist dipping its toes into the stomach pool, can it? 🤦‍♂️ Talk about crossing the line! Sorry anxiety, no VIP access to the digestive system, stick to wreaking havoc in the mind! 🧠💁‍♂️"

anxiety, baby, disorder, frustration, hate, health, humor, irony, line, me, mental, mental disorder, problems, stay, stomach

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

2 months ago

consolation, deep, editing, emotion, eyes, humor, joke, later, man, Photoshop, sadness, worry
I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

2 months ago

bad, bed, blocked, confidence, dating, humor, media, never, rejection, relationships, sarcasm, self-esteem, social, social media, told, unfriended
Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

2 months ago

adult, baby, brat, corner, dancing, dirty, Dirty Dancing, girl, humor, lesson, movie, needs, nostalgia, right, teenager, watching
Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

2 months ago

behavior, cashier, day, everyone, except, good, humor, morning, people, social, social behavior, talk
At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

2 months ago

able, bedtime, beer, being, drinking, frustration, help, humor, i, insomnia, maybe, point, relaxation, sleep, sleeplessness, throw, towel
I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

2 months ago

humor, i, internet, irony, know, people, true, truth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Instagram this month:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

73 shares on Instagram this month:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

35 shares on X this month:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I don’t understand why banks get so mad when you can’t pay back your loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Making waves on Reddit:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Just shared via Threads:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Going viral on TikTok:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Breaking via Slack:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Breaking via Facebook:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Going viral on TikTok:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨