Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Honestly, I can see why God flooded the Earth that one time.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,661

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Making waves on YouTube:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Just shared via YouTube:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Live now on Pinterest:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Seen just now on Reddit:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Just landed via Messenger:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Witty text humorously highlighting unreciprocated feelings with playful sarcasm.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the perfect recipe for a long-lasting relationship: one part indifference, one part sarcasm, and a sprinkle of existential crisis. 🤷‍♂️💔 Who can resist such a compelling offer? Let's start a sitcom called 'The Apathetic Duo' and see where this complete disinterest takes us! 😂🏠"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

I buy candles like I’m preparing for a Victorian blackout.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,654

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Just shared via Messenger:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Just landed via Instagram:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Just shared via TikTok:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

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