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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2270 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,432

Funny Quotes Topics

15,133

Funny Quotes Images

12,432

1 hour ago

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Freshly posted on X:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Breaking via Instagram:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Spotted on YouTube:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Making waves on X:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Reported on Slack:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

6 months ago

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

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Commentary:
"Ah, the perfect recipe for a long-lasting relationship: one part indifference, one part sarcasm, and a sprinkle of existential crisis. 🤷‍♂️💔 Who can resist such a compelling offer? Let's start a sitcom called 'The Apathetic Duo' and see where this complete disinterest takes us! 😂🏠"

awkwardness, care, die, humor, i, life, live, love, me, noticed, relationship, sarcasm, together, uninterested

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2270 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,432

Funny Quotes Topics

15,133

Funny Quotes Images

12,432

1 hour ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Shared recently on Facebook:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Trending via Slack:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Going viral on Slack:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Going viral on WeChat:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Just shared via Reddit:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Making waves on Threads:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Reported on Slack:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Live now on Messenger:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

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