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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,506

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Making waves on WeChat:

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

Just shared via Telegram:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Seen just now on X:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Spotted on Telegram:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Seen just now on Slack:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Just shared via Slack:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Making waves on Slack:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

2 months ago

0

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Resisting the urge to let those zingers fly is basically a full-body workout for your self-control muscles! 💪😂 Remember, sarcasm is just one more service we offer here at the "Snarky Comments Gym." Keep flexing those inner strength muscles, champ! 💬🏋️‍♂️

back, holding, humor, inner, inner strength, lot, reply, sarcasm, sarcastic, self-control, strength, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

0

2 months ago

able, aisle, aisles, around, call, confusion, cops, frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, joke, moves, navigation, police, shopping, should, store
No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

0

3 months ago

bag, book, humor, kid, kids, parenting, parenting struggle, smell, soccer, soccer bag, struggle
Googling symptoms until you cry.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, cry, diagnosis, Googling, health, humor, internet, search, symptoms
Does your blood pump that way just for me?

0

2 months ago

attraction, blood, flirt, humor, humor quote, just, love, me, romantic
Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

0

2 months ago

activity, dad, day, days, energy, fun, fun activity, home, kids, leave, much, rainy, rainy day, shopping, too
HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

0

2 months ago

being, challenge, communication, feedback, hr, humor, me, saying, staff, stop, stupid, stupidity, taken, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

96 shares on Slack this month:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

56 shares on Discord this month:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,559

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Live now on Reddit:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Going bananas on X:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Spotted on YouTube:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Trending via Threads:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Breaking via Reddit:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Seen just now on Reddit:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

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