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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,545

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,545

Nov 27, 2025

3,949

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Just shared via Instagram:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Trending via Slack:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Shared recently on Slack:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Spotted on TikTok:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Making waves on Telegram:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Going viral on Slack:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Shared recently on X:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

3 weeks ago

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

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Commentary:
Oh, the modern struggle of juggling passwords and identity theft risk! 🤦‍♂️ Who knew that a strong password could also double as free identity theft protection and a gentle reminder to sit up straight? 🤣 Stay safe out there, folks! #PasswordProblems #IdentityTheftDeterrent

debt, enjoy, frustration, hope, humor, i, identity, left, me, new, password, posture, steal, stealing, technology, terrible, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,545

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,545

Nov 27, 2025

3,582

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Spotted on Slack:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Going viral on X:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Live now on Reddit:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Just shared via Slack:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Breaking via Discord:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Making waves on Pinterest:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

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