Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,536

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Trending via LinkedIn:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Going bananas on Discord:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Breaking via Telegram:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Live now on Snapchat:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

Just landed via TikTok:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Breaking via Instagram:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Just landed via Twitch:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

1 month ago

Witty text about password fatigue and identity theft humorously warning cyber villains.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the modern struggle of juggling passwords and identity theft risk! 🤦‍♂️ Who knew that a strong password could also double as free identity theft protection and a gentle reminder to sit up straight? 🤣 Stay safe out there, folks! #PasswordProblems #IdentityTheftDeterrent

debt, enjoy, frustration, hope, humor, i, identity, left, me, new, password, posture, steal, stealing, technology, terrible, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on X this month:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

I let my girl wear whatever because you’re staring, and I’m hittin’ that.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,525

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Spotted on Threads:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Going viral on Reddit:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Just landed via Twitch:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Live now on Instagram:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Trending via Instagram:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴