Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,939

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Going viral on Discord:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Making waves on Messenger:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Shared recently on Threads:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Going bananas on TikTok:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Making waves on YouTube:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Seen just now on WeChat:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

2 months ago

0

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the modern struggle of juggling passwords and identity theft risk! 🤦‍♂️ Who knew that a strong password could also double as free identity theft protection and a gentle reminder to sit up straight? 🤣 Stay safe out there, folks! #PasswordProblems #IdentityTheftDeterrent

debt, enjoy, frustration, hope, humor, i, identity, left, me, new, password, posture, steal, stealing, technology, terrible, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

0

1 week ago

broke, childbirth, customer, customer service, emergency, fault, humor, last, last minute, minute, nice, pregnancy, procrastination, retail, retail worker, service, shop, shopping, water, week, worker
I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

0

2 months ago

dilemma, downstairs, food, funny situation, help, hunger, rescue, send, situation, upstairs
I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

0

3 weeks ago

age, asleep, fall, fall asleep, frisky, humor, movie, movie theater, relationship, theater, where
The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

0

2 months ago

box, car, cars, everyday, everyday life, glof, glove, glove box, humor, irony, life, never, thing
That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

0

2 months ago

ability, carpet, cat, cats, cleaning, humor, mess, pet, throw, throw up
Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

0

4 months ago

attention, friend, friendship, having, hyperfixation, interest, nobody, privilege, shows, support

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Instagram this month:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,035

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Going bananas on Threads:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Going viral on X:

How do I un-know people?

Just shared via TikTok:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Making waves on TikTok:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

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