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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2488 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,650

Funny Quotes Topics

15,327

Funny Quotes Images

12,650

2 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Trending via Reddit:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Spotted on Messenger:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Making waves on YouTube:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Just shared via Reddit:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Just landed via X:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Making waves on Snapchat:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Making waves on Twitch:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Jan 24, 2025

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, you know the guy was on a whole new level of pizza-loving inspiration when he invented those heroes in a half shell! 🍕🐢 Probably had a vision of radioactive ooze and martial arts skills mixed with a side of extreme caffeine boost! 🐢💥 Just another day in the wild world of creativity, right? 🎨

absurdity, came, coke, creativity, guy, humor, mutant, ninja, teenage, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, turtles

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2488 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,650

Funny Quotes Topics

15,327

Funny Quotes Images

12,650

2 minutes ago

3,460

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Trending via Messenger:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Shared recently on TikTok:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Live now on Slack:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Making waves on Facebook:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Seen just now on Discord:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Just shared via Facebook:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Spotted on WeChat:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

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